Forgiveness and learn lessons

We all fall down but it is how you pick yourself up that matters - Daniel Campos

In life we all fall down, we all have slip ups but it's how I pick myself up that matters. I must forgive myself and forgive others and not set expectations on others. A wise person learns from their own mistakes and a wiser person learns from other peoples mistakes. One of my goals as per the sticky note below was not to get angry and push people away. I learnt from past experiences when I pushed people away. I put expectations on them and when they did not meet them; I rejected them. Now that they are gone. I miss them.

I learnt I haven't been a good friend at times by putting expectations on them and pushing them away. I isolated myself because of hatred against myself and not them. When I needed people, I had nobody except a few who always were there for me and forgave me. I am blessed by God to have these people and I pray to God to give them all the blessings of their heart and His Will. I learnt who my true friends are during various phases of my life. True friends are there for you through the good and the bad. They come to your rescue and make themselves available for you in your desperate time of need. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

There are people who have always been there for me. They were also there when I needed them the most and even when I tried to push them away due to things not worth getting angry for (and I only realise this now). Today I got into an argument with my mother who has been there for me all my life, especially through troubles. She sacrificed so much for me and even endangered herself trying to help me and do what is best for me. I thank God for every moment I share with my her and how blessed I am to have her. Today during the argument, I almost bought up the past again (about the wrong decisions she made and things she should have done and did not do) but thank God I didn't.

It's tormenting when I bring up the past. All this time I did it thinking it will make me feel better and that she may still not realise it but she knows. I remembered my goals. The mistake I did was shout angrily which I shouldn't have done. I should have addressed the problem assertively and not dragged it on and on. I apologised and we forgave each other. I realise there is more to forgive within myself and maybe that's the reason I have grudges against others. Pastor was right; when we do not forgive others - we carry the yolk of bondage and slavery with that person but when we do not forgive ourselves; we have the same issue. We also let Satan have a hold on us and torment us. Forgiving myself will also emancipate me from all the chaos and inner demons from the past.

So my mission is to also forgive myself and maybe that would make it easier to forgive others. Even when I gain weight, I beat myself up. Instead, I should realise that this happens in life and what comes up must go down. Like the other sticky note, I should think about solutions and actions and not get caught up in the worries, emotions and stress.